Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Page 02 of M.M. comic ...


I've already done page 04, but I want to handle any postings and potential feedback in sequence. So, without further ado, here is page 02 ...

5 comments:

Tom Moon said...

Again, nice layout and drawing style; clean and readable. Beautiful coloring job and inking. Very pleasing overall feel to the art. I was just a little confused about a couple of small things though.

In the top panel, the banner says "Capitol" because they are in Capitol City, right? And in the panel below the signs say "Meal Magic", so it implies at first glance that "Capitol" is the corresponding software brand-"Meal Magic" software vs. "Capitol" software. Shouldn't we have a name for the "Brand X" software anyway and have the characters refer to it as such?

Second suggestion: In the real world people change clothes every day and hairstyles occasionally, but it would help the reader with easy character identification if the two women characters were to dress in the same outfits and colors, and have the same hairstyles throughout the story.

The distinctive glasses sell it for the dark-haired woman. It's the second woman that's more the problem. Is there some distinctive feature you can give her also?

Small points, but my two cents. Coming along nicely Tom.

Tom Carroll said...

I like (and respect) your two cents, Tom. I'll likely make some of them changes ... I may put additional common touches on the shorter haired lady, like maybe an american flag pin that she wears all the time. And I agree that going brand for brand in the two panels will be less confusing.

Thanks so much!!

Mr Goodson said...

Nice crowds. That's always a challenge.

Mr Goodson said...

Isn't it amazing how much work you get done working for someone else. Then you don't work for yourself with half the energy. At least I don't

Tom Carroll said...

I agree with what you say, Ellis, and have told numerous people that it is imperative that I have a real set of goals, like with this comic book. If I don't it is all too easy to watch the 10pm news and go to bed (instead of coloring and lettering until 2am **yawn**). At least the penciling of pages can happen during odd minutes spread throughout the day.